Super Mario

I am happy to report that as of 12:05 am, eastern standard time, on November 23, 2005, Video Game Megastar, Super Mario is...



ALIVE

...as long as YOU don't fuck up and get him killed by one of those turtles.

That guy who played "Cousin Larry"

I am happy to report that as of 6:35 eastern standard time on November 11th, 2005, that guy who played "Cousin Larry" on that show with Balki is...



ALIVE

...I think. I'll be honest, I didn't really check. Who cares, right?

Phil Rizzuto

I am happy to report that as of 12:50 am on November 9th, 2005, baseball legend Phil Rizzuto is...



ALIVE

Chad Robuckle

I am... um... "happy" to report that as of 5:20 eastern standard time on November 5th, 2005, imaginary friend/rapist, Chad Robuckle is...



ALIVE

Fred Flintstone

I am happy to report that as of 11:45 am eastern standard time on November 4th, 2005, Hanna-Barbera cartoon caveman Fred Flintstone is...



ALIVE

Billy Joel

I am happy to report that as of 2:25 eastern standard time on Thursday, November 3rd, 2005, Piano Man Billy Joel is...



ALIVE

Britney Spears

I am happy to report that as of 9pm, eastern standard time on November 2, 2005, pop star Britney Spears is...



ALIVE